Dear Friends,
We have in the Gospel this weekend the story of an encounter between some Pharisees and Jesus over the question of divorce. We are all too aware of how common divorce is in our own society in these times. Some estimates hold that up to half, even perhaps more than half, of all marriages end in divorce. Divorce is, to be sure, sometimes the lesser of two evils. No spouse should ever have to live in a situation where physical or emotional abuse is occurring. Having said that, divorce is always a tragedy as it marks the death of a relationship that was intended by both parties to be a life-long relationship. Divorce is a tragedy of shattered hopes, emotional pain, and a sense of loss and failure. The tragedy and pain of divorce often motivates either one or both parties to seek some counseling.
The Church has always taught that marriage is a sacramental commitment wherein a man and a woman give themselves to each other for life. God brings them together in a union that ends only with the death of either one of the parties. Thus, there is a requirement that Catholics normally celebrate marriage in church with a priest or deacon officiating. In some circumstances, the bishop may grant permission for the marriage to take place in another religious context before a minister of another denomination or religious tradition. Normally, marriages of Catholics celebrated before a justice of the peace are not considered to be valid marriages by the Church.
Whenever a situation arises that may undermine or threaten a marriage, couples are duty-bound to do whatever may be needed to try to save their marriage. Divorce should never be the first option, nor just an easy option. It should be the last option. When divorce does occur, this does not mean that a divorced person is no longer a member of the Church or excommunicated. A divorced person remains a member of the Church and may continue to receive Communion. A problem arises, though, when a divorced Catholic marries another outside the Church without obtaining an annulment of the prior marriage. For those Catholics, they remain members of the Church but they may not receive Communion. When and if the prior marriage bonds are declared null and the new marriage is blessed by the Church, the parties may receive Communion. Should anyone have any questions about this, please feel free to speak with me.
To some, this sounds harsh and judgmental. Quite to the contrary, it upholds the ancient and constant teaching of the Church, coming from the Lord himself as we hear in the Gospel today, about the sanctity and the permanency of marriage. The Church stands ready to assist those who are experiencing difficulties in their marriage and it also has a ministry for divorced Catholics. In our time when many marriages end in divorce, perhaps it would be better to remember as well that many marriages do last a lifetime. There are many couples here in our own parish who have been married for twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years and more. We celebrate their success, as we rightly should do.
You may have noticed an envelope for All Souls’ Day in your packets. You are invited, as you have been in the past, to write the names of your deceased loved ones on the envelope, enclose whatever offering you choose, and drop the envelope in the basket any time in the month of October. We will place these envelopes on the altars in both churches for the entire month of November and the beloved deceased whose names are inscribed on them will be remembered in a special way at every Mass.
Have a good week!